for all 2008 has taught me,
for all the people who meant so much,
for everything which I have seen,
for smiles and tears,

thank you. it's really been some year.

Because shawn commented just now that I haven't updated for quite a long time, I'm back here updating, with nothing much to say. This shall be a short post though, as I feel like going to sleep really soon!

It's almost going to be the end of 2008 in just a few days time. Just like that, another year has flew by in a blink of an eye. Honestly, I don't even know how to reflect on 2008, not even where to start. I know I've said quite abit about this in my previous posts, but as the days of 2008 become even fewer, it's inevitable to start to think about it even more. How am I going to end this year? What will my resolution of 2009 be? These are just some of the few questions I'm asking myself. Okay, I'm kind of at a loss for words now.

On a related note, I was very encouraged by some of the testimonies in church today, especially Douglas'. I don't know how, but deep down inside it spoke to me, even before he started singing the song he composed. When he started singing his song, I really could feel the lyrics. It's been a while since I was touched like that by a testimony.

On an unrelated note, I think this week is going to be kinda boring. So, for all the various groups of people who are supposed to go out soon, go out (:

Sorry for the randomness in this post. Sorry if you can't find the links.

In closing, "When life gives you lemons, play captain's ball", said Kieran Ram Chandra.

It's just 2 days to Christmas. Somehow, this year seems rather different from the previous years. There isn't much hype, isn't much anticipation and the feeling in my heart is just different. The one thing I'm really looking forward to now is the 2nd run of our drama&dance performance to be a success. I think the sense of ownership for this production has got to me, in a positive kind of way. It's just like Drama Feste all over again, just for a different cause and with a different purpose. I wonder what i'll start to feel on the 25th itself. After all, this year has thrown at me enough twists, as it is.

The past week has been spent mostly in church, with awesome drama&dance people (: The past few days have been spent frantically shopping for stuff in time for Christmas. It's quite surreal that at the start of this holidays, I practically had nothing to do. As the holidays draw to a close, everything suddenly starts speeding up. There are still many things in the wings after Christmas, such as Class Chalet.

On yet another note, I have watched 'Twilight', and it's really not what I expected. At least Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have enough chemistry to carry the show through. Watching some scenes between Edward and Bella was really sweet though, because things like sitting amongst treetops are really impossible to get in real life. I mean, I can't even climb a tree properly, but that isn't the point is it?

Tag Replies
[joou] whyy? the lyrics are kinda interesting xD
[claire.] HI! haha you could if you want to!
[claire.] but, you are! haha, it's just that I didn't say I wasn't (:
[joou] haha hello (:
[kathy_NTP] hey. uhh link me? sorry I don't know how to use yahoo.
[hciR] haha saw you lol!
[kylim] ROAR back (:
[kiimmy] haha random tag xD
[claudia] you returned the favour! haha cheem? o.o
[brendaaa] hellooo!
[francine] yay thanks (:
[jason] yes, very random indeed!
[francine] haha that song is really nice and sweet (:

i'll rather die than to stay away from you ;

Listening to David Cook belt out "Permanent" right now provides a magnificent contrast to my feelings. It's the end of the year once again, a time when we are supposed to reflect on the past year and everything which has come and gone.

I decided to read my blog posts from a year ago, and the revelation I got wasn't too far from what I expected. Things have changed, and that is inevitable. Sometimes, as I think about my circumstances this time last year, I can't seem to fathom why and how certain things happen. Still, the truth remains that one year on, things aren't the same at all.

The end of 2007 and the start of 2008 marked a time in which I set out with so many plans and great aspirations. I was involved in so many things, Moor House, RIPB, Orientation Camp, and was really so caught up with doing my job well. Orientation Camp really took up alot of my time, because as Co-Camp I/C, there was just so much to be done.

In contrast, this year I have nothing. I do not belong to any school now, and I do not have any obligations which I have to fulfil or proposals to rush. This holiday has been like no other: no work, no school schedules, no obligation. But yet, with the previous years, there was a sense of certainty. I knew exactly what I was going to do the next year, exactly who I would be in contact with, exactly what I would need to fulfil and what was needed to be done. There's no certainty now, because I do not know what is going to be thrown at me in 2009.

And, that is the least of my concerns in this post.

"Change is the only constant" is how the saying goes. I have never been one to believe in this statement, simply because it negates anything which is worthy to be treasured, a relationship for instance. If that was true, there would be no such thing as "unchanging love", "forever friends" or even "everlasting God". I would like to believe that certain things are indeed within our control, to ensure that things don't change.

It's quite hard though, in the face of juxtaposition from previous experiences. There was really so much hope at the end of last year, and most of what was there is gone now. There has really been a huge change in my life, as I move on, as I meet new people, and I get to know different people deeper. The cost of something broken has not only been the pain which comes with it, but the opportunity for something new. I'm ending this year with totally different hopes and dreams. I know this year has really taught me so much, even if it meant me going through probably the most crazy year of my life thus far.

It's never easy to let go, but it's necessary sometimes. I just hope and pray that I'll never need to let go of the hopes I'm bringing with me into 2009 and beyond, through all the uncertainty which is to come.

I still believe in the permanent.

As you can see from the emergence of my previous post, I have returned from the (not so) sunny town of Batu Pahat, where I participated in my church retreat. In short, it was a good time of bonding for me, because I really got to spend alot of time with the youths I normally and not so normally spend time with. And, it forced me to take my mind off everything, since I always had things to do (such as "Ballroom Captain's Ball" and "Time Limit Shopping", among others). But now I'm back, and have the task to focus on more pressing matters.

As another random thought, I have seen Jason, Yuting, Annabel, Kimfong and Jesslyn everyday since last saturday. Dance and drama is also going to make me venture deep into the Ang Mo Kio industrial estate to get to church more often than usual this week.

As the end of 2008 fast approaches, I'm finding my weeks getting more and more busy, and I guess I'm thankful for that in a way. Earlier in the holidays, I was complaining that my holidays were too empty, and now that it's not so free anymore, I guess I can't complain. I just hope that I can finish writing Christmas cards and getting presents, unlike last year and the year before.

As you may or may not have noticed, all my previous paragraphs start with the word "as". I think it's time I should stop that trend, so I shall not be deemed a boring writer. But too bad, there isn't another paragraph xD

for one more day
to lie in wait
to catch a star
to find true fate

for one more day
to reopen gates
to see again
on this one date

for one more day.

this is.

Crush - David Archuleta

I hung up
The phone tonight
Something happened
For the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush
What a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever
Feel the same way
About me
It's just too much
Just too much
Why do I keep running
From the truth
All I ever think
About is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this can go
Am I crazy
Or falling in love
Is it really just
Another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way you do
'Cause I'm trying, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush
Ain't goin' away
Goin' away
Goin' away

Why do I keep running
From the truth
All I ever think
About is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this can go
Am I crazy
Or falling in love
Is it really just
Another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way you do
'Cause I'm trying, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush
Ain't goin' away
Goin' away
Goin' away

Tag Replies

[sixxjacques] hahaha why cannot arh? xD
[celes] thanks! yeah, decode (:
[claire.] meh, once again my spelling dies D: I bet not many people caught that though xD
[yenlin] yeah, that's quite true also. I kinda like the way this season is ending!
[joou] jo! I'm being confused by everything you've tagged! hahahaha.
[aaron] haha why's that?
[kangjie] thanks! hahaha HR thing xD michael and shayne hear that?
[shian] heh yeah xD
[kieran] HAHA I think you're just slow. awww.

No, my blog isn't dead yet. I still intend to keep it alive for a long more time to come.

I'm just going away until the 10th, so you can expect a short hiatus till then.

Goodbye, faithful (and not so faithful) readers (:

"there's nothing else I wanna do, than try to make this up to you"

I'm sorry. I really am.