i realise how small little things build up slowly, and then create one big force and action which really blows us away. like the fact that how we live now, who we interact with and how we carry ourselves may all affect ourselves in the future. without even realising it, there is a direct or indirect action and reaction, changing our lives, shaping our future, moulding our path. and it all starts now.

okay, i admit that was rather random although it was what i was kind of thinking about today. it has no relation to the post bytheway! since the title of this post is random, i shall just post bits of information about today. i think that this is one of those days that you unsuspectingly learn alot about human, friends and yourself.

a. in physics lesson. a lesson on static electricity. ms kek is explaining how the paint sprayer works. she begins.

ms kek: when you paint your room, the painting can be very uneven. so man came up with this invention to make you able to have smooth and nicely painted walls. this wonderful invention is ...

jonlian: [cuts in] WALLPAPER! *laughs to himself*

-whole class stares at jonlian-

b. swimming during PE period today left me with one pulled leg muscle, a worse flu (which is better now) and very out of breath. i have no stamina in the water D:

c. it's history period and mr wong isn't in class. my group proceeds to the area behind the life to discuss our history project. suddenly...

burger run with his arms waving all over the place and rushes into the toilet, screaming. we all look at one another, wondering what was wrong with burger. burger comes out of the toilet, breathless. he explains that spencer tried to squash him under the orders of shihang while he was sitting under the table, spying on their group's history project. burger does a comic dramatisation for us. burger leaves. minutes later, spencer appears and tries to attack us. later the whole class goes crazy.

* sorry, if you're not in my class, it's kinda hard to understand this one*

d. lunch and walking around junction 8 today made me think of somethings which i had hardly ever thought about before.

e. i'm really glad i got to go out with shoujian and jarrell to suntec and cityhall today. i guess the talk with them made me understand things much better. although some things said were really out of the blue. but i kinda accomplished what i went there for which was the main purpose anyhow (:

f. none of this is emo bytheway, if you were wondering.

well, work's catching up and the next few days are gonna be really busy for me. i think i more or less will be out the whole of tomorrow, saturday and sunday. which means little time during the weekend to do anything other than what i already planned to do. i'll really need to be focused and on task more of the time and i'm glad i'm not falling that behind.

moor house is a real challenge now. i'm so tired sometimes, but for the good of the house, i'll strive on. it's the promise i made when i took up the captaincy in the first place, so there's no way that i'm going to break it. well, if swim carnival results are anything to judge by, things are looking up for us. and i hope it stays that way. things are confused and all now, but that'll only be more motivation. now i just need more time. oh well, never give up moor house. because we are always fiery and formidable (:

oh, and i've just written a poem titled "flight". i'll try to post it here soon for comments!

it's been one depressing day today, especially after our quickfire losses in the Softball B Div Semi-Finals and Rugby B Div Finals. we couldn't say we didn't fight hard, because we really did. guess today things didn't really go our way.

i know that i totally cannot find time to blog about what i plan to blog about. but i shall do some listing on what's on my mind now.

a. softball semi-finals
b. ORA and OM
c. interesting thoughts
d. quotes from school
e. moor house

okay that totally didn't make sense because i didn't elaborate on anything. don't blame me, it's 1am in the morning and my brain isn't working already. i seriously need some sleep. but before i go, let me leave one last thought here.

"sometimes, one doesn't want to share problems and true emotions with another for fear that the other party would feel worried and burdened. however, one doesn't realise that by not sharing and keeping everything inside, the other party would be even more worried and concerned because he is being kept in the dark."

it's because of true care and concern.

the blanket of the night slowly creeping ;
across this deep blue facade.
it begin to spin the symphony of the malevolent.
it creeps, knocks
then retracts the subtle way it came
again. and i am left.

i don't even know what to call the paragraph above. it's surely not a poem. maybe i should call it a fragment, which i'll develop on someday. somehow, it doesn't sound coherent at all. maybe i shall just delete it? sigh, a result of 2 minute writing D:

i have decided to chuck aside all the things i planned to blog about, to blog about some other random thoughts instead. my mind is really full of things now and the way things are going isn't helping. i'm just thankful i have people alongside me to listen, to help and to make living life so much easier (:

now i was randomly blog surfing one day not so long ago and i started reading about how people had to leave their JC after the O level results becuase their results were not as good as their prelims and therefore did not make to cut for the JC they were in. and somehow, as i read this, something wrenched in my heart. i could really feel how sad it was to lose a classmate, an OGmate, a friend. it's like waking up everyday to see a ghost of that person in the place if where he/she used to be in school. (please don't take this statement literally) i couldn't put myself in that situation. i really don't think i can, now.

and then i think to myself, what if that friend who had to leave had become someone's close friend in the short spam of time since the start of the year. i mean, the reality is that to many youths nowadays, friendships mean the world to them. and i really wouldn't go against this statement. well, to lose a classmate might not be so bad. but to lose a close friend to another school is a different story. not that the friendship will be broken, but just that it wouldn't be the same anymore. it very well could be the start of the breakdown, the start of two parallel lives diverging. not a very happy thing indeed.

but i guess all this is just about live life and letting go. life is full of transitions, in school, relationships, preferences and just about everything else. i remember the times when i had to transfer schools in primary 3. it wasn't an easy thing to do. and yes i struggled. then i had to leave primary school in primary 6 as we all went to different secondary schools. it wasn't easy too. and now, i guess we just have to be thankful that we don't need to split up once again before we enter JC. at least there is some comfort to look forward to. in the process of all these transitions and changes, i have had to let go and lose many times. i have lost friendships but gained new ones. i have had to let go of so many of my comfort zones, being thrust into new ones. i've learnt to adapt.

relationships are one of the hardest things to let go of. you cling onto them so dear, and when the strings of security are detached from you, you feel lost and empty. yes, i've felt that before. as we fall away from that comfort of sanity, and as our defense get stripped away, what would be left of us? it's all because transitions have made it that way and no way else. i really hate the feeling of a relationship falling apart, because sometimes it just feels like the world collaspes for a while. whether it's a weak relationship being extinguished or a strong one weakened, the result is the same. we let go, we lose and we move on.

yes. we let go. we lose. we move on.

well i guess this statement pretty much sums it all up. life is about that and we can't change this no matter how hard we try. we just have to accept it and adapt around it i guess. sigh, i think i've explored too mucch in one post, makign everything sound really diffused and confused. but this has got to do for now. there is some truth in it anyway.

and maybe there are many things in my life i have yet to let go off ;

i really couldn't think of a better title to this last night post, so this would just have to make do. oh well, at least it makes some sense. does it?

anyway, i have been wanting to blog about so many things since the last post. but as usual, my busy schedule got the better of me D: so i have blogged about nothing. finally i get some time now! -breathes- so this is what i want to post about. (although i know that after i merely list all the things, i wouldn't post like elaborations on any of them)

1. Inter-House Track and Field Championships
2. The Pillowman
3. Inter-Class Soccer
4. Quotes from School!
5. Top Friends, what it really means to be one.
6. The Repetition of Repeated Feelings.

after taking away all the weird stuff like LJ Day and stuff, i realised there isn't alot to post about. just that the house thingy and the friends thingy wouldn't probably take up one whole post each.

finally something from today. i came home at around 5pm and read the papers and turned on the computer. after checking my mail and reading abit of stuff, i left the computer on and went upstairs to my room to lie on my bed for a while. the next thing i knew, my mum was waking me up telling me it was 1am already. i slept for 7 hours D: (i missed 7 calls and didn't reply 6 messages) SIGH D: