i opened up this window and my mind went totally blank.

i can't stop thinking about things now because things just seem to always remind me. even the smallest remark or the slightest joke causes me to think about what actually is going on now. i'm confused about it all, what's been going on, what i don't know.

i realise how fast people can fade out of your life. maybe somehow, i've not in the past held tightly enough. or maybe it was just not to be, not to upkeep, not to maintain.

i've gone though things like these before and i don't like to play around with this topic. there isn't a point, and i think that it's just so immature to do what all of you all are doing now. immature. it's not wrong, but it becomes so in the eyes of others. don't they understand.

and i don't know what i've been writing, all along.

forget it, it isn't worth it.