and so i bring to you another random quiz, seemingly assembled out of nowhere. tagged by claire!

1. What's the most scandalous thing you've done?
i ask you that question. scandalous. is. subjective.

2. Who is the person you trust the most?
best friend.

3. Do you think you have enough confidence?
mhmm, but could still do better.

4. Who is the person that you confide in?
refer to 2.

5. Are you satisfied with yourself?
not always. but what i have, i wanna make it count.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
friendship and love.

7. Do you believe in love at first sight?
yes, but it shouldn't be snapshot only.

8. Have you broken someone's heart that she tried to commit suicide?
not that i know of!

9. What do you like about yourself?
-shrugs- that i'm me?

10. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
sincerity, honesty and trust. above all others.

11. Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
if it's a true friendship, i very much do.

12. Do you treasure your family?
i would say so.

13. What do you dislike the most?
insincerity

14. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
my best friend and my other half (when i finally get one)

15. What do you regret most in life?
that i didn't seize opportunities as i would have liked to.

16. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friend's eye?
sincere, trustworthy and caring.

17. Do you love your friends?
yes.

18. Which date do you like the most?
1st Jan. i like new beginnings.

19. If you have a dream to come true, what would it be?
to forever be able to be there for the people i care for.

20. If you could travel in time and return to a phase of your life, which phase would it be and why?
the time when we were all still so innocent and friendships and relationships weren't all that complicated.

21. If there's one thing you'd do now, what would it be?
to make my work finish itself! please.

22. People I shall tag do this quiz.
chrisanda, aarontiong, amanda, joou, jarrell.

also, i found a really nice song recently. i think it really uplifts up in the midst of everything that i'm going through. really reminds me to really hold on, even through everything. beautiful song which i'm falling in love with alot right now (:

Hold On - 33 Miles

I've been there a thousand times
I've felt the rain like a thousand knives
And it hurts
I know it hurts
I've been there like a fighter plane
Tryin' fly my way through a hurricane
And it's hard
I know it's hard

Don't be afraid
You'll make it through
Just call out to me and I'll come running to you

Hold on, hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on, hold on
Unitl the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand and
Hold on

I'll give you hope, I'll give you faith
And if it's dark, I'll light the way
For you, for you
By your side, until the end
Until you're standing tall again
I'm here, I'll always be here
And if the tide, sweeps you out to sea
When your strength is gone, and it's hard to believe

Hold on, hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on, hold on
Until the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand

Ooooo so...
Hold on, hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on, hold on
Unitl the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand
And hold on, hold on

so hold on becuase i know that we can make it through ;

the order of the day will be to reply tags, especially after "reads claire's tag > scrolls down tagboard > realises that i really have so many unreplied tags > panics > tells myself to go and blog NOW > fails, because i end up doing work" so, here i am now! (sorry for taking so long)

[chris] you're welcome, take care (:
[jemtay] blehh, i haven't watched yet! still ):
[claire] physics DIE xD haha!
[joou] omg, i took that long to reply this tag? anw, REDFIREENGINE!
[davin] umm, dead :/ in all senses of the word.
[yenhui] heyy yenhui (: haven't seen you tagging for a while!
[claire] thanks (:
[elizzabeth] sighh, thanks!
[chris] haha yupp i did! thanks (:
[koon] i thought i was the only cat. obviously, i was wrong.
[joy] mhmm, thanks alot joy!
[celestine] haha poems are always fun! let you read more soon (:
[juan] saw you on friday! haha yeah, "over you" makes me think alot too ..
[nellie] ehh, don't have okay! it's just your imagination!
[joou] haha 2 weeks more only! press on!
[some RIPB hopeful] umm yeahh..
[claire] tada (: haha all replied!

omg, that was really alot! i MUST NOT let this happen again.

well anw, today is a toss-random-thoughts-around-in-my-head day. the title of this post is titled as such, due to what i was thinking when i was watching a part of some chinese drama series while having dinner just now. i've really got alot to say about this, but i don't exactly know how to phrase it in words. even if i do, it'll probably sound too emo, and everybody would just tell me that i'm being too emo once again. but over and above all the emo thoughts and to like, which thinking about the concept of love is so likened too, i always believed that there's something more than that.

because i always believed in the power of love. because i always had faith in the power of a relationship. because i always knew that i would hate to fail. because i always see the beauty in love. because there is always this added sense of security. because two as one.

but sometimes, i can't help but feel it's all so naive.

well, if you really really want to, you can ask me about this someday. but these are just some really random thoughts, with no particular coherent sequence. and i'm NOT emo (:

i was feeling bored and weird. this is from ray's blog.

Only answer True or False

Q: Kissed more than one person on your top friends? false.
Q: Kissed someone you didn't like? false.
Q: You like someone? true. but it's all in perspective.
Q: Held a snake? false. i've been upclose with one, but didn't feel like holding it.
Q: Been suspended from school? FALSE.
Q: Kissed in the rain? false.
Q: Sang in the shower? haha true.
Q: Sat on a roof top? false. at least i can't remember.
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? false. thankfully not, yet.
Q: Broken a bone? false. almost did though.
Q: Shaved your head? false.
Q: Played a prank on someone? true.
Q: Had/have a gym membership? true. does club membership (with gym) count?
Q: Donated Blood? false. but i might not mind in the future.
Q: Had your heart broken? true. true. true.
Q: Broken someone's heart? true or false, i wouldn't know.

"Who was your last?"
just be 100% truthful

LAST PERSON.
1. You hung out with? 4K people.
2. last person you texted? joou, about apcg stuff.
3. last person you slept next to? there's nothing else on my bed!
4. Went to the movies with? gang (:
5. Went to the mall with? 4K people.
6. You talked to on the phone? shanzhi.
7. Made you laugh? mr chong, during a crazy chem lesson!
8. You hugged? haven't hugged, in quite a while.
9. You kissed? never. unless it was when i was really, really small.
10. Made you cry? it wasn't someone. it was a poem.

WOULD YOU RATHER...
1. Be serious or be funny? depends on context, really.
2. Drink whole or skim milk? -shrugs- not that i drink alot of milk.
3. Die in a fire or get shot? shot.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Sun or moon? moon, prettier.
2. dark or light chocolate? light.
3. left or right? random! umm, right.
4. Sunny or rainy? depends again.
5. Hugs or kisses? both.
6. Where do you live? singapore.
7. Rock or Techno? rock.
8. Do you want to get married? yes!
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl.
10. Do you cook? yes! cooking's way fun.
11. Current mood? tired, anticipative, contemplative, warm.

IN THE LAST 72 HOURS HAVE YOU...
1. Kissed someone? no.
2. Sang? "over you" by chris daughtry.
3. Been hugged? no.
4. Liked someone you can't have? umm, what does 'can't have' mean? perhaps.

Favourites
Favourite Color: RED!
Favourite Food: don't really have a favourite.
Favourite Movie: LOTR trilogy, Ratatouille, POTC, SO MANY!!
Favourite Sport: SOCCER (: but everything else is fine too.
Favourite Day of the week: friday.
Favourite Season: winter.
Favourite Ice Cream: vanilla, cookies&cream, butterscotch or banana.

Currents
Current mood: tired, anticipative, contemplative, warm.
Current clothes: t-shirt and shorts.
Current desktop: very cool class photo at night in dhoby ghaut.
Current time: 10:25pm, 11:25 when i'm reading through this again.
Current Surroundings: laptop, handphone, creativeZEN, bag, stuff on table.
Current Annoyances: neck pain! homework.
Current Thoughts: apcg, house looks and trust thoughts.

Firsts
First best friends: define best.
First crush: i seriously cannot rmb! but it was quite some time ago.
First movie: can't remember.
First lie: can't remember.
First song: can't remember

Lasts
Last drink: apple juice.
Ride: car, school in the morning.
Last crush: don't wanna answer.
Last phone call: shanzhi.
Last CD played: "twelve stops and home" by the feeling.

Random
5 things you are good at:
1. randomly falling asleep.
2. stoning and staring at something.
3. feeling.
4. talking/chatting.
5. reading people.

4 things you have done today:
1. blogged.
2. did UNSW writing
3. talked abit about how i felt.
4. laughed at zongyi on the phone.

3 things you can hear now:
1. "light up the sky" by yellowcard.
2. keyboard typing.
3. fan spinning.

END.

this week has to be one of the weirdest weeks in my life.
i think i've gone through a whole spectrum of emotions.
from one extreme to the other, really.

but i hope, that i can make it through this darkness.

everything's just as it was (:

everything's all right (:

there are no more tears now (:

trust is all that matters (:

i'm very happy that i can say
that trust covers all
that trust makes me such at peace
that trust is what i'm really depending on now

it's been a long time
since i last learnt how to trust fully
maybe even never, before
and now, i think i know its true meaning

it means never to let doubt sneak in
never to not believe
never to give up hope
always letting trust make things stronger

well it may sound like a fairytale
but i've always been one who believes in them
and when i've finally found the trust i'm looking for
i'm never ever going to let it go

i don't know how it started
but somewhere along the way
you taught me what true trust is
and even through whatever may come

trust covers all;

Feels Like Tonight - Chris Daughtry

You, you got me
Thinking it'll be alright.
You, you told me,
"Come and take a look inside."
You believed me,
In every single lie.
But I, I failed you this time.

And it feels like tonight.
I can't believe I'm broken inside.
Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you?
And it feels like tonight,
Tonight.

I was waiting
For the day you'd come around.
I was chasing,
And nothing was all I found.
From the moment you came into my life,
You showed me what's right.

And it feels like tonight.
I can't believe I'm broken inside.
Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you?
And it feels like tonight.

I never felt like this before.
Just when I leave, I'm back for more.
Nothing else here seems to matter.
In these ever-changing days,
You're the one thing that remains.
I could stay like this forever.

And it feels like tonight.
I can't believe I'm broken inside.
Can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you?
And it feels like tonight.
Tonight.
Tonight.
'Cause there's nothing that I wanna do,
But try to make it up to you.
And it feels like tonight.
Tonight.

i can find similarities between my emotions and the Haber Process.

the one thing in common between the two of these things right now is that i fail to understand both of them properly ): i don't care whether or not i can understand the Haber Process or the life of Fritz Haber for that matter (die, chem pt!), but not being able to understand emotions sucks. and it sucks even more when i have been pretty much fine for quite long, and then things hit you once again.

i'm glad we sorted things out. but now, what's next?

i read that and i didn't know what to do. i wish yes, and i wish no. could it be?

i'm glad you're okay.

i wish that you'll be okay soon, please.

sigh, all these things coming so close to each other make things so confusing. really, really. and i don't know what i should do now.


tag replies
[joou] heyy! haha thanks for tagging from shanghai (: haha and i hope red fire engines still are cool xD
[elizabeth] yeahh, it's kinda hard to phrase it >< ohwell.
[jonlian] i choose to ignore that and i shall watch it anyway!
[kimfong] hello! haha linked!
[joy] haha yes i wouldn't mind that (: haha how was indonesia (if you do come back and read my tag reply)?
[peggie] heyy! haha linked (:
[hansheng] yes you are! haha i don't mind. i like mystical things xD

and i am back from not posting for about 1 week. i didn't go anywhere, but i just didn't feel like posting either. no, make that i was too lazy to post although i have like a few million things to post about now! ahhhh!

tag replies!
(from the oldest to the newest. omg this is SUPER delayed.)

claire: haha oh really? isn't that like kinda tiring? :/ i'm not emo okayyy! really, i'm not. and yeah, the cherry blossom remix is fantastic (: love it alot (:
chris: yessss, i agree too! that's why i'm not doing it xD
siying: haha yay (: i need to re-tag on your blog very soon also!
jesslyn: okay sure!
amanda: haha when you tagged on 17 may, you said one more week to freedom! now it's like one week into the freedom already! and thanks (: dramafeste!
chris: haha saw you on monday (:
siying: saw you on monday alr too (:
joy: i was just joking! anw, thanks for tagging!
joou: haha i heard those songs are very nice also (:
amanda: if you see me online at the most unearthly hours, means you're also online then too ): we all need more sleep!!
yenlin: haha cook! and your "cryptic" tag (:

life

nothing much has been happenning this holidays so far. nothing really big to speak of. but there have been many small things which add on i guess. it's like one week and two days into the holidays already and i haven't got much work done so far, which isn't a good thing. was supposed to start today but ended up going out and then sleeping. ahhh no good! haha let's give nice short point form answers to summerise it all up cause i expect that all of it will be too boring to read O:

OCC filming for biography . outing to ECP . church . APCG meeting . outing to national stadium . morning soccer . randomly walking around PP

and that's about it ):

I NEED TO GO OUT SOON!
I NEED TO WATCH PRINCE CASPIAN SOON!
I NEED TO GO OUT SOON AFTER I GO OUT SOON AGAIN!

thoughts

contrary to common opinion, i haven't been thinking alot lately. i'm in like this weird lull mood, which seems to make things feel kinda weird in a detached sort of way. okay i know i'm not making sense, but yeah, it's a strange feeling when you know you have things to settle but don't really know how to go about actually resolving them.

ahh well, i want semester 2 to start well, so i've to work towards certain things this holidays. and the workload isn't helping, really. oh well.