*cough cough*
*sneeze sniff*
that was what happened when i woke up today. made an attempt to drag myself out of bed, but couldn't really in the end. (although i wanted to go to school because all the PI stuff is so behind time) so i slept until 10 plus when i finally got up. went to the doctor's to get my MC, then spent a good part of the day sleeping again. sigh, getting hit by the flu bug at this time is so irritating.
but that's really besides the point. remember the time when i said i was contemplating friendships, it's back again. and it's breaking me. i hate it when this happens because it either means something has happened or that i'm losing faith. and losing faith is never a good thing i assure you, especially when it's the only thing you've been holding on to for so long.
if faith's all you're holding on to, when it deserts you, you have nothing.
i read a fellow schoolmate's blog this afternoon, in which he said that he probably will never find a best friend in school, someone he can trust. i think it's really sad, because secondary school is where the foundations of friendship are meant to be built. it's when you're supposed to have the best times of your youth maybe. but is the same thing happenning to me?
i mean, when was the last time i told someone from school something from the bottom of my heart straight out, without trying to mask the real meaning behind my words. ever? it's really not meant to be this way. really no please. but it's turned out like this already.
people can't sense that i want them to not talk about a certain subject.
people don't see when i'm happy or sad, not accurately anyway.
some people don't seem to have the humanity aspect of them anymore.
even i'm not perfect. i've let people down. i've ignored before. and i apologise for all that. because that's simply not the way it's meant to be, not the way i want it at least. but i try, i try to be caring, i try to remember the smallest details of people's lives, i try try try. and trying so hard has led me to nowhere this far.
you have become so dao, it's like i don't know the old you anymore.
you and me haven't been talking for a long long time.
you are an idiot. a real idiot. don't you think about others?
sorry for the short rant. i just don't want this to go on any further.
and, i don't think you know how much you mean to me.
but maybe it's just me, an overvaluation? i hope not.
anyway, on to other things, our classroom has a nice new emo corner! haha it's just so funny when you find people in that corner looking emo!
oh well.
