i'm falling in love with the style of play of djokovic and tsonga!

haha managed to sneak in time to watch the Australian Open Men's Final just now, in between studying for physics and doing Moor House stuff! and it was really good (: although the match was super duper long (3 hrs plus) and irritating channel 5 cut the broadcast halfway only to resume it later at 10! the only downside, i hoped tsonga had won though.

and now, y'know what? i have no idea how to blog about the whole of the past week! i really don't know how because so many things happen, come and go. ok here goes what i can remember in point form!

thanks for all the belated birthday messages!
thanks to OIP team for the cake! (which was USED again!)
then subsequently fell sick over last weekend ):
house meeting 1 on tuesday! haha thankfully it turned out okay!
went down to national archives on wednesday to learn how to use the system for the musuem project.
PI meeting on thursday for vvvv long! then EXCO talk session (: heh.
soccer and tennis after school on friday!

okay, that's basically it! SUPER COMPRESSED!

back to the present

i'm looking forward to a very busy week! thankfully there is staff training day, whch would give me some sort of a break although the whole afternoon is filled with PI meetings! i think PI is really stressful now. heh. oh well, i'm bracing myself for long nights in school, again.

sigh, i realised that in the midst of all this, i'm not giving myself time to think anymore. on thursday, when i had some sort of luxuary of time, i spent 45 minutes sitting along the astroturf doing nothing. totally nothing, just thinking. I always like to think that thinking is okay, but too much thinking makes you emo, which isn't really okay. i guess that is true to some extent. i've always wanted more time to look deeper into myself, to realise what really matters to me, to sort out my priorities. but i'm not getting any. i guess time can be the devil's advocate too huh?

these days i just want to think so much. just want to be alone sometimes. just need a ear sometimes. just want to be the ear to someone else sometimes. two years of deja vu have come and past, this year better not be the same. but that depends on how things unfold, if they attack me from the start, and pull me down the long tiring road, then maybe deja vu again?

conflicting feelings are never good. usually one's the better option and the other's the option which the candy wrapper, the one sugar coated. i hope i know what's best.

thinking in church doesn't help much too, and today, i reaffirmed a startling conclusion. there's a stumbling block in front of me and it isn't helping my spiritual life. but it can't be moved. this block will be a permanent fixture. so maybe i'm the one who needs to move away from it? maybe i'm the one who needs change. maybe i'm the one who needs to find somewhere better suited to my growth. maybe.

as i once again stare at the yet to be delivered christmas present on my table, i wonder, how much of this is as real as i perceive it to be. am i expecting too much with too high hopes?

i thought i could make it right. i really did.

is it possible?

faith. that's what's keeping me hanging on to this.