and so i'm back here. and i haven't been able to update on vietnam trip, RCC moving-out or prefects' retreat. y'know, come to think about it, there are just too many memories to capture, too many thoughts to share and too many times to cherish. i don't think i can even document it all here in this blog. i don't think i'm going to post detailed posts about these things anymore. if you really want to know more, msn/msg/face-to-facetalk. i think that'll work better. if not i won't even know where to begin !

for the vietnam trip,
i really just hope that all the bonds and friendships we built up over the 14 days won't be broken so easily. yes, we're all talking on msn everyday now but who knows whats gonna happen a few months down the road when everything is in full blast and everyone is busy? honestly, i feel i have not forged that close bonds as some of the others have. and i kinda regret that too. i mean, i'm not even going to see most of them again ever (although i really hope to meet everyone again). but on the other hand, i'm thankful i didn't get tangled up in anything too complicated over there. oh well. still, i don't want any of this to end anytime soon. the reality is, it's muchmuch easier to break a friendship then to be able to sustain it ): and i don't want anything to be broken. it's so easy to wake up one day and find out that yesterday was the last day you actually will talk to a person. for a long time. [it happened too many times before]

so please let me hold this rainbow for a longer time. i don't wanna let it fade away. i don't know how we are going to sustain everything, but it's worth the try. it has to be. for all that 14 days was worth, it was worth a lifetime. yes, a lifetime and friendships which hopefully will hold. it's scary when i see myself fading away and losing touch with some people already. but i tell myself, it's worth it all. yes it is (:

for RCC moving,
byebye 19 Moulmein Rise. won't be seeing that place for two years. and when i come back, i'll see a new church building in place of where the old one once stood. although i didn't exactly grow up in the church like some of the others did, it really hold so many memories for me. and these memories will all only have a place in our mind when this current building is torn down. memories of the physical building itself, of events which happen and also of people which come and go.

places like the back field which was our soccer pitch all the time.
the basement holding memories of JSS, BULBS and BREAD.
the sanctuary where God moved time and time again.
events like all those evang. services we had.
all the dramas we staged on the old small stage.
all the times we stayed over in church for camps and adventure unlimited.
all the watchnight services in those early days.
people like the JSS people and teachers.
the people from BULBS, BREAD and IGNITE.
the people from revival generation.

and so much more. including all the services.
thank God that even though the physical building is being torn down
everything else still remains (:

for RIPB retreat,
don't really have that much to say for this. only that it was loads of fun (: besides all the normal activities, i think the highlights were playing FIFA late in the night, watching champions league in the middle of the night and falling asleep, going into the "scary place where they serve drinks and there are others there", soccer! and most of all going to the airport at 7am to welcome back those history/geog RA guys! it was really fun going to the airport and doing such weird and crazy stuff (:

moving on, i'm really stumped for words right now. i've got so much to say which would fit a few password protected posts. but i don't know what to think about now. all i can say now is:

"people tend to say they're okay even when it's not true"

it gets me confused. people wear masks all the time.
i don't really like it. but i know not everyone can tell me everything.
i wish it could happen. but i know it will never.
masks never held anyone. never.
i learnt that the hard way.
but am i still doing it?
am i guilty?
i don't want to be. help me try.

i don't want to do a cover-up act.